“I Ate an Entire Box of Kraft Dinner Because I was so Depressed You Didn’t Call” and Other Tales From the Text Box
Recently I found myself on an epic purge that saw me delete the entire contents of my cellular device’s received text message storage box. I also found that a great deal of these messages, when taken straight from the text box and out of context, were pretty freakin’ hilarious and sometimes seemed downright dirty. Perhaps you’ll recognize yourself or someone you know in these quotes.
“Tap my ass and call me Sheila!” – 1:55am, October 15, 2009
“Are you going to shave me dry Barbarella?” – 1:57am, October 15, 2009
“Merry Friggin’ Christmas.” – 11:58am, December 25, 2009
“It’s a curth, I know – I’ve had to start drinking testosterone and watching monster truck racing.” – 9:40pm, January 28, 2010
“Knees are a bit sore but all positive. I need to keep working on my rhythm.” – 1:59am, February 17, 2010
“Pull him into the rest room and lick his beautiful face for me.” – 8:51pm, March 6, 2010
“In the parking lot sucking cock.” – 10:53pm, March 12, 2010
“I think I’m going to have to revoke a spandex permit or two here at the Hair Bin.” – 2:43pm, April 3, 2010
“I like your attitude. You are today’s recipient of the flattering legwear award.” – 2:57pm, April 3, 2010
“I just bought a pair of sequined purple shorts at a garage sale!!!!!!!!!!” – 2:18pm, May 29, 2010
“P.S. I’m watching Dirty Dancing.” – 5:42pm, June 5, 2010
“I ate an entire box of Kraft Dinner because I was so depressed you didn’t call. BTW, it was white cheddar 
” – 9:46pm, July 4, 2010
“Finnish my chocolate milk.” – 1:14pm, July 20, 2010
“Remind me to send you the next installment of Wladyko’s erotica. you’re in it too!” – 7:50pm, August 4, 2010
“I just stepped outside the library and realized that this is the ugliest fucking town around. And I’m not even in a bad mood, it just is …” – 6:46pm, August 12, 2010
“U better get ur sweet ass 2 that bus station now!” – 8:09am, August 15, 2010
August 31st, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Hahaha! I’ve got two quotes in there! I’m not sure if that is something to be proud of, but I like it anyway