Jul 4 2011

Adventures in Road Travel Hell

I have recently learned that sometimes slinking off into the night without so much as a note is the best way to leave someone.

For example, if you are stricken with a case of honesty and decide to tell your trusty old touring minivan you’re less than a day away (7 hours, to be precise) from leaving it for a new one it may turn on you, leave you stranded in the middle of national park nowhere, send a tow truck driver who destroys your home sweet trailer, and finally attack you with an absolute wiener schnitzel of an AMA representative who refuses to fix the broken Ruby it’s responsible for. Let’s observe in photos:

Mama Dragon protesting our impending break-up with her by overheating like an angry bitch in the middle of Jasper National Park.

Looking under the hood reveals Mama Dragon is burnt toast.

Cell service doesn’t exist when you breakdown 150km from the nearest town in the middle of a Canadian national park. Here’s JP hitchhiking the 8km to the nearest warden station (and phone) while the rest of us spend 1.5 hours limping the van the same distance.

Waiting for a tow truck ….

1 hour later still waiting for a tow truck …

2 hours later still waiting for a tow truck …

CAA to the rescue … Or so we thought.

Mama Dragon and Ruby pre-towing from hell.

Ruby’s frame looking awfully destroyed post-towing from hell.

Mama Ponto to the sleep rescue with a plush hotel room in which to rest for a couple hours before resuming vehicular problem solving.

Superhero Lew Bates hauling us the 700km to the new van … Without even missing a gig along the way.

Crashing hard in the back of superhero Lew Bates’ truck after a daylong adventure in road travel hell.


Apr 11 2010

Adventures in Air Travel Hell

I thought it was the stuff of myths – but after years of travel I can safely say that I have finally had my very first adventure in air travel hell.

The above photo is the position yours truly crashed hard in on the London Gatwick check in hall floor until 3 security guards woke me up concerned that something was seriously wrong with this ball of young lady who had not moved from the fetal position in hours.

If you’re interested in the events that led up to and followed the above photo I’d be happy to give a quick hell recap. You must request said hell recap though – it’s much too many words for a photoblog.

It’s 4am and things are finally calm and I must be off to take advantage of the first curve Fortuna has thrown my way in the last 24 hours – I somehow managed to score my very own room for the price of a cheap like borscht dorm bed  – and it’s a cell in an old converted Slovenian prison to boot.